'Tis the Season ...

Now, how many places does it snow on Christmas in real life? And why does it always snow in the movies, even if you are south of the equator? I am sure people in Australia decorate their trees with crystal snowflake ornaments and then go out and barbecue. Why is snow so essential to Christmas?

We feel that Christmas is taking over other cultures. We try to say "Happy Holidays" and sing Hanukkah songs. There are desi families who give their kids gifts on Diwali. But, there is no escaping Christmas. You can either celebrate Christmas or Christmasize your festival with carols and gifts.

I am not a gift kinda person. However, the brats (and I) love Christmas. Christmas is Hot Chocolate (with Grand Marnier after the brats are asleep). Christmas is soft lighting and handsome people. Christmas is pretty packages with perfect ribbons. Christmas is candy canes and chocolates and gingerbread lattes. Christmas is soft, clean, snow that does not turn into slush. Christmas is large families that don't fight, and don't have dishwashers (so late at night, when everyone is asleep, the hero and heroine do the dishes and kiss).

Question: In real life, when has a mom gone to bed and left her unwed daughter to make out in her kitchen?

Christmas is no longer just the celebration of the birth of Christ. It is no longer religious. It is a celebration of the longing for that unreal, unattainable, world, that is yours just for that moment when you sip your hot chocolate, sigh, and dream.

It is the season to be happy. It is the season to try and fill that void between the real world and that unattainable, perfect world. It is the season to buy. To buy trees - real and plastic, gifts that no one needs, packaging for the gifts that will go into the landfull, glitter for the trees, bigger garages where we can store the glitter, lights for the house, electricity for the lights, ...

I know I should not love Christmas for what it is - but I love it exactly for that! Go figure.

Navarathri

As a kid, this was my favorite festival. It didn't just get done in one day, or even two (like Holi and Diwali), it went on for ten days, not counting all the days of prep before. It seemed like a this festival had something for all: great food, craft work, theater, singing, dancing, art work, games, you name it! I was lucky enough to live in a cosmopolitan university town to see it all come together.

We had the local mela with gol-guppa stands, the games, Ram Lila and the all-important burning of Ravan. We had the larger than life statues of Durga, bengali sweets, garba dances, sundal, singing, and my favorite, GOLU. For me, Golu was all about craft work. One could make houses with shoe boxes, dolls from rags, clay mountains, and fields of sprouted mustard. One spent hours arranging the beds and tables to make the steps, and covering them - just so - with white bedsheets, for display.

Even though, Golu was not a family tradition, I convinced my mom to adopt it, and make it one. Now, years later, the brats and I put together a golu every year, with the brats doing more and more every year. To celebrate the diversity of this festival and of the land we live in, we try to represent different countries, cultures, and races in our golu. We have a beautiful vintage dutch girl, a chinese couple, a namibian herero tribal, a cambodian princess, a korean woman, a japanese geisha and more in our golu collection. This year, we constructed a village house, a performing stage and multiple rangolis - one with daal, one with flower petals, one with paint, and one with chalk.

I am no longer a little girl in pig tails, and have to juggle work, dinner, family time, laundry, and cleaning, in addition to making the Golu. When the kids decide to try a new project, I find myself working to make sure that they do not spill glue, leave bits of paper strewn, or topple one of the delicately balanced golu-padis. Every bone hurts at the end of the day - and I am constantly battling the brats to limit the scope of our Golu. Yet, every moment is worth it, and I look forward to many years of Golu, and hope that the brats, and their brats, will continue this tradition.

[Picture is of our golu this year when it almost came together]

Chrismas Gifts

I have long been one to berate the gift-giving western culture.

I despise the "diamonds are forever" slogan, that encourages women to never resell their diamonds so more diamonds can be mined and sold; the fashions/fads that make perfectly good clothing from last year not worth wearing this year; and many other marketing gimmicks that make US the consumer society that it is.

However, this year, I not only encouraged my 7 year old to give gifts for Christmas, I have been trying to impress upon her that gift giving is really an important and wonderful tradition.



Why?

Gift giving makes you think about what people you love like. There is a joy not just in receiving a wonderful gift - but (probably a greater?) joy in knowing that you picked something the other person loves. When the gifts are thoughtful, not extravagant, they can be a wonderful way to show your love and appreciation for someone.

However, it is a fine line. Can you give a "perfect" gift to one sibling, and not to another - just because you chanced upon the "perfect" gift? If yes, does it mean you love one more than the other? If not, does it not encourage the culture where we buy dozens of See's candy boxes to hand out to one and all, so as to not make anyone feel left out? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of gift giving?

Personally, I think giving gifts spontaneously, and not necessarily always around Christmas or Birthday or Anniversary gets around this dilemma. You do not feel coerced to buy something/anything in time for the occasion, which drains the joy out of gifts. However, Christmas, Birthday, or a visit, are good occasions to learn the art of choosing gifts.

Hopefully, I can impress upon her the art of spontaneous gift giving later, once she has experienced the joy of giving a gift the receiver will cherish and enjoy.