Greetings, 2011. Goodbye, 2010

What is this decade called? The twenty-teens? The twenty-tens? Or are we into this century enough that we no longer need the twenty prefix? Is it just the teens or the tens?

Computer Talk

Patidev and I are both multilingual. We know English, Hindi, Tamil, and Sanskrit, and are used to mixing up words from different languages in the same sentence. As computer scientists, we also mix up computer lingo into our conversation. For example, we don't forget things -- instead we have a stack overflow -- implying that we forgot, but only because there was too much for us to remember.

Of a certain age

I went up to the top of the PG&E trail yesterday and I now know that I am certainly middle-aging.

To be fair, there were signs earlier -- my hair has been graying rapidly, my waist has been disappearing, the brats have been growing taller -- but the human mind has a way of selectively looking at evidence.

Now that I have accepted this new phase of my life, I am embracing it. I LOVE middle-aging:

-- The brats are older and self sufficient, and smarter and cuter than ever

-- Patidev and I are more in love every day

-- Career-wise I am neither at the bottom of the ladder, nor the top of my potential

-- I am blessed with parents and in-laws in reasonably good health

Gray hair is a small price to pay for this.

Parents and your immediate family

For me, my family includes not just the nuclear family I have built, but the one I came from. I would not create a priority order between patidev and the brats and my parents or in laws. They are all important. If one is sick, or needs education, or is starting a business, money may be diverted to that person at that time. So, expenses are prioritized based on need, and not on a ranking of people.

In modern society, your immediate family is your nuclear family - you, your spouse and your kids. I heard someone on TV talking about responsibility towards one's immediate family as a primary responsibility that comes before any monetary responsibility to your parents.

If parents are no longer in an adult kid's immediate family, then I assume that an adult kid is no longer in the parent's family either. Is it when children turn 18, or is it when they marry that they cease to be part of your family? Or is it whenever you need monetary support from them?

Isn't it odd that, with this model of family, your family shrinks as you grow older? Isn't the more accepting model nicer, where you grow and your family grows with you, adding your children's spouses, in laws, your grandchildren and more?

Now, having enjoyed living on my own terms, I may not at old age want to live with my children. I certainly do not want to be a monetary burden for them to carry. However, I do expect that we will all be part of one family, even if we live separately and keep separate bank accounts.

The Middle Ages

The brats are growing up. Brat#1 asks questions such as "Where is Krishna if the universe is inside his mouth?". Brat#2 sees more than just her world and needs, and has even developed compassion for her older sibling. How did they get so big?

Patidev and I are at that age when we see the specs of gray in our hair but somehow don't associate it with aging. We subsequently look at the brats and are enormously surprised that they have grown so big! Is it possible that not recognizing one's age is a clear sign of middle age?