More brat literature

My 5 year old niece wrote this recently:

Appa's computer

Always Busy

Always Tiping

Always Doing Work

Always Scraching his heaD

That's all...

Love, Love, Love those last two lines!

Pattappa Thatha turns 100

Thatha was just thatha for us. He lived in that airy house with cool red cement floors and big windows with sage green shutters that matched the ceiling beams. His room was the one on the right as you entered the porch, and it was not till much later that I noticed that he wore no poonal, and did no sandhya-vandanam.

Twenty-tens, Here We Come!

2009 has been extremely busy at work for both patidev and me. Patidev continues to travel for work, and I still commute to Redwood City, which has added to the stress.

Patidev is continuing his singing lessons with gusto and is currently learning the Thodi varnam. I am now part of a group of moms who go hiking regularly, and use that time to meditate (on the deficiencies in our respective Patidevs and Brats :).

Brat #1 is in 3rd grade, and has formed many good friends at the new school, and continues to keep in touch with her closest friends from the older school. Brat#2 is in Kindergarten and seems to have grown a lot in the last year.

This year we again managed to do our yearly Golu, Halloween Pumpkin Carving, and Carol Singing Fund Raiser. We also had extended family over for Thanksgiving and friends who flew over for the Christmas holidays.

Right now, Patidev and I are a bit wiped out, but thankful for the last decade that brought us two wonderful brats, interesting jobs, great friends and colleagues, more time with parents, and closer to each other. We are looking forward to the decade ahead of us, and hope that we will continue to grow and learn.

We wish you all a very Happy New Year.

Parents and your immediate family

For me, my family includes not just the nuclear family I have built, but the one I came from. I would not create a priority order between patidev and the brats and my parents or in laws. They are all important. If one is sick, or needs education, or is starting a business, money may be diverted to that person at that time. So, expenses are prioritized based on need, and not on a ranking of people.

In modern society, your immediate family is your nuclear family - you, your spouse and your kids. I heard someone on TV talking about responsibility towards one's immediate family as a primary responsibility that comes before any monetary responsibility to your parents.

If parents are no longer in an adult kid's immediate family, then I assume that an adult kid is no longer in the parent's family either. Is it when children turn 18, or is it when they marry that they cease to be part of your family? Or is it whenever you need monetary support from them?

Isn't it odd that, with this model of family, your family shrinks as you grow older? Isn't the more accepting model nicer, where you grow and your family grows with you, adding your children's spouses, in laws, your grandchildren and more?

Now, having enjoyed living on my own terms, I may not at old age want to live with my children. I certainly do not want to be a monetary burden for them to carry. However, I do expect that we will all be part of one family, even if we live separately and keep separate bank accounts.