Americans are from Mars, Japanese are from Pluto

Japanese customers seem to always find ways to ask questions which American engineers do not understand. That is not quite correct. We understand the question. We just do not understand why we need to answer the question.

If you have not directly dealt with a Japanese customer, read http://peterhanami.blogspot.com/2006/04/buyer-behaviour-insights-of-japanese.html first.

Here is an imaginary conversation with a Japanese customer (JC):

Me: This gizmo is really cool. I use it all the time. Look, I can flip it in the air like Rajnikanth. I heard you folks really like Rajnikanth.
JC (looking impressed): Alice-san, can you use it if you are flipping yourself?
Me: You bet! You can use it any way you like. Would you like to use one for a few days before you buy?
[a few days later ...]
JC: What happens if the gizmo falls into the toilet?
Me: Oh, I am sorry! Did you drop it into the toilet? Can I give you another one?
JC: Alice-san, I would really like to know what happens if it falls into the toilet.
Me (puzzled): What do you mean? I am not sure. I have never dropped it in the toilet myself. There could be a malfunction due to short circuit ... but I'd know only if I try to retrieve it from the toilet ... which I am not sure I ...
JC (interrupts): Alice-san, I tried to flush it down the test toilet I have in my lab, but it backed up the sewer. Can you explain why it backed up the sewer?
Me: I guess the gizmo is too big for your sewer?
JC: Alice-san, what diameter should the sewer pipe be for it to not back up?
Me (still puzzled): Any diameter greater than the length of the gizmo should do it.
[a few days later ...]
JC: Alice-san, your gizmo is 4 inches, and I tried with a sewer pipe 4.001 inches in diameter - but the sewer still backed up. Can you explain?
Me: Beats me. Maybe, the sewer has some sediments and the effective diameter is lesser.
[a few days later ...]
JC: Alice-san, the sediments were only 0.0009 inches thick. Can you explain why the sewer backed up?
Me (exhausted and wondering why I need to go through this): Sir, is there any reason why you feel that the gizmo may fall in the toilet?
JC (persistent): I am interested in knowing what will happen if the gizmo falls into a toilet with sewer pipe larger than 4inches in diameter. Can you find out and let me know?

It is amazing that Americans still continue to sell to the Japanese and Japanese still continue to buy from Americans.

Maybe Kipling knew what he was talking about:
Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet,
Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God’s great Judgment Seat;
But there is neither East nor West, Border, nor Breed, nor Birth,
When two strong men stand accross money, tho’ they come from the ends of the earth.

In the meanwhile, our APAC sales are flat, and the Japanese sales folks claim it is due to the way the gizmo blocks the sewer when flushed down. They would like the us to add a feature where contact with toilet cleaning detergent will dissolve the gizmo.

In addition, they would like ipv6 support and Windows98 support since Japanese users are always either in the future or the past, never the present.

They ping us about 5 times a day to see when they can get the sewer flush feature. Maybe, we'll work on the design, since we are spending more time and money fending them off. Maybe, if we do this one, they will come up with the next crazy feature they want and we will be back where we are.