Coupledom

Why is it that we couples feel absolutely comfortable jabbing at each other in public? I have been in spouse bashing conversations, such as:

"Have you ever tasted my wife's cooking? You will know why we hired a cook. Ha. ha."
"You talk about cooking? My husband doesn't know how to dress himself unless I lay out his shirt on the bed. At least you could hire a cook. Ha. Ha."

Why are we all vying for the "my spouse is the worst" title? Why don't we instead speak about the thoughtful acts, the funny moments, the loving gestures? Why are the most wonderful acts of married life locked in the privacy of the bedroom, and all the dirty laundry washed in public?

I was probably most guilty of spouse bashing during courtship. I thought it was sickeningly sweet when a couple fawned over each other; and thought it was cool when a couple seemed very secure in their love, and never needed to exhibit it publicly.

However, as life progresses adding kids, career, and stresses, an undercurrent of real criticism lines these friendly jabs. How does one respond to those? Laugh with the jabber? Sympathize with the jabbee? Defend the jabbee? Change the topic? Ignore?

Maybe, it is time to stop the jabbing altogether?