The Lucky Thirteen

It is the theme of millions of stories - from your sleazy magazine to Shakespeare. It is there in every culture, Indian, Arabic, European, American, and others. It is a theme depicted extensively art, dance, music, plays, movies, and even architecture. It is universal. And I never believed in it.

It is the existence of soul mates. Of people who were made for each other and no other.

I think that people who believe in soul mates must have such unhappy marriages. How could you have a violent disagreement on which sofa to buy, if you are really made for each other? Every fight, every argument, must prove that you are married to the wrong dude, that your real soul mate is out there, lonely (or like you, stuck with the wrong dudette). What a miserable way to lead your life.

So, for me, there would not be a soul mate. There would be chemistry. There would be love. There would be companionship. There would be the moments where your stomach does a cartwheel. There would be the moments where you would say the same thing at the same time. There would be books and movies and hobbies you would enjoy together. But, no soul mate, please. I want to have those disagreements, those long discussions, those compromises. I want to hate the movie that he loves, and love the book that he can never finish. I want to live with a person, who will challenge me to grow up a little bit more every day.

So, we started our married life, thirteen years ago, sans soul mates and fairy tales. Just two people who were in love, and thought they were better off spending the remaining years with each other than without.

Years later, I have come to believe in soul mates. Not the ones that are made for each other - rather, those that grow into the role. You become a soul mate, and gain one. You share those years, and those memories, and know those little Seinfeld-ish things that you hate about each other. Soon, without realizing it, the little Seinfeld-ish things become the things that make you laugh, that make you and him adorable - to each other.

Not everyone finds their soul mate. Patidev and I must be damn lucky!